The Becket List – An A-Z of First World Problems

The Book

The Becket List – An A-Z of First World Problems

Not so long ago, and not for the first time interrupting me whilst I was totally justifiably ranting at the television – MY television, in MY living room, whilst sitting on MY sofa – my wife accused me of being ‘so angry, about so many things. ALL the time.’

‘You’re dead right,’ I replied, after a nanosecond’s thought. Which set me thinking.

Maybe I wasn’t alone? Maybe compiling a compendium of things that could be put right/restored/replaced/repaired/revisited/re- oriented (and many other relevant things beginning with R, despite my strictures about alliteration) would be helpful to others and help rid the world of unrighteous anger. In a nutshell, I could provide a service that might have a chance of preventing us all going to hell in a handcart.And writing as the conservative anarchist which I believe myself to be (the answer the immortal Peter Cook famously gave to a question about his politics, if I recall), this might be a counter to so much that is going wrong in our world.

A list, I thought.That’s what it needs – a simple little list of things that make me (and, I suspect, many others) angry. Initially, all I had in mind were a few pages of A4, but in no time at all the list had taken on extraordinary proportions, as you’re about to discover.There is just SO MUCH to be angry about.And of course there’s nothing wrong with that: logging the relative trivia of what have come to be known as ‘First World problems’ is naturally a wonderful form of escapism from what might be perceived as the REAL issues which are making so many people get into such a bate.

You would be right in thinking that this process has been cathartic: I’ve realised that I’m entirely right to be angry, and if this exercise does nothing other than draw attention to the many wrongs that need to be righted – often with little effort required – well, so be it. If, on the other hand, its effects are transformational (as they self-evidently deserve to be), well – what a revolution in human happiness could be contrived. Forget the footling efforts of Cromwell, Galileo, da Vinci, Napoleon, Lenin, Churchill, Newton, and the rest: THIS IS BIG STUFF – not a mere footnote to world history. And I have, of course, only scratched the surface…